If You Could See What I See

Sometimes I wish I believed in something.  Science or religion, left or right, bleeding heart or hardened soul.  It would be easier to believe in something so strongly that every other belief was laughable to me, worthy of derision and even hate.


But I don't.  I'm damned to see it all.  The ever-present patterns of everything.  I know that there is no absolute truth, no one way things should be.  I know that everything that is called "truth" is filtered through someone's belief, and is therefore flawed.

I know we're hurtling toward destruction.  And I know that people on either side will blame the other.  I know that, like humans, nations have a finite life.  Nothing lasts forever, not even the granite of the mountains.


It is because others cannot see these patterns that they dance these patterns.  Sometimes I see that they hold the strings moving them, sometimes I see that there are people who, like me, can understand the patterns and are moved to use them.  Faceless Directors just off the Stage on which we are all but Players.


Oh, how I wish I were as blind as most.  I wish I could believe in something.


But I don't.  I cannot.  I can only know that all the divergent beliefs play to the patterns.  And that everything ends eventually, and always because of beliefs and divisions.

I'm BAAAAAAACK!

This has to be a record. But I have been busy ranting on FB, so I haven't come here to unload.

Now FB is basically a minefield of leftist censorship. I shut that down, much to the dismay of a family member. Oddly enough, nobody else cares, because my rants were getting brutal.

So, let's play catchup. I returned to my career as a nurse, and saw my mother through her dying process. She died September 9, 2019. On her death, her middle daughter tried to act as though she and I hadn't been at bloody war for years. I didn't accept the olive branch. She can die as she lives, by domestic violence or drugs and alcohol.

My daughter moved out and now lives with friends. I'm happy for her, and especially happy that she is working double-shifts by schedule because of short-staffing.

Politically, everything is shit. Congress prevented Trump from accomplishing anything by running impeachment trials every time he farted in the Oval Office. All of them failed. They also destroyed the economy by shutting down businesses over the entire nation and made people dependent on handouts. Essentially, nobody wants to work anymore, even though every single business is begging for help.

I'll go through each of these more in-depth in future posts.

And during the Congress-created hysteria, we nurses were called "heroes." I knew that was bullshit from the start. Pet the dog. Good Girl/Boy. 

Now we and all healthcare workers are dogshit on the sidewalk, to be stepped around and bitched about.

And finally, for this post, the Democrats worked out the bugs in their system to steal elections, and a lying, racist pedophile was elected. The dismantling of our rights and of this country are on schedule.

Everything is destroyed, and I'm sick of it.

To be continued...